I confess that I haven’t felt much like writing lately. I wouldn’t call it writer’s block, but more like a lack of patience for sitting at the computer. Writing also means organizing my thoughts into something that makes sense and honestly that’s been way too much work for me lately.
I’m also bone tired. The fact that I’m at least 10 years older than the next oldest person at the salon doesn’t mean I’m exempt from nine-hour days that kick my butt or taking my turn working weekends. The thirty-odd hours I’m working each week feel a lot more like the 50+ I was putting in at my previous job.
You know what though? For the first time in my life I have this feeling that just might be contentment. At first, I thought it may be complacency, but I don’t feel apathetic or negative. I’m exhausted, but not weary. And, even though I don’t always get to all the things I want to each day, I feel satisfied with the things I have accomplished. What is this magic?
Here’s the thing….
- I LOVE being back in the salon. I love the precision of a great haircut, the creativity of a beautifully applied color, and even a perfectly wrapped perm. I love the nose tickling mix of chemicals and fragrances, the unique characters that sit in my chair, and the happy chatter of a busy salon.
- I’ve been sewing–giving myself over to the lures of dazzling displays of fabric in whimsical patterns and textures, the rhythmic hum of the sewing machine, and making things that are beautiful and useful out of my two hands.
- I’ve been doing yoga consistently. Breathing and stretching life back in to my stiff middle-aged limbs and achy joints. Day-by-day I can feel my strength building and flexibility returning despite the inevitable age-related changes to my body.
- I’ve been able to volunteer at church using my gifts and abilities to feel purposeful and helpful not simply fill a hole.
- Finally, even with all this new busyness, I still have the energy and capacity to give myself to the people I love without guilt or grudge – WOW!
Don’t get me wrong, life is still far from perfect. It never will be and that’s OK. But life should be more than just enjoying the current harvest of good things. True contentment is “feeling full” because there is a realistic understanding of what you want versus what you need that informs what you could do versus what you should. It’s also dang fulfilling when you can actually combine what you like to do with what you’re actually good at–maximizing the gifts and abilities you’ve been given.
I pray that we all find the things that fill us up and the time and courage to pursue them.
God bless!
Lip Balm & Lemonade 