adventures

Lemonade in the Winter

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Another 6-10” of snow is currently weaving yet one more intricate blanket over central Wisconsin. Its pristine beauty is turning our world into a winter wonderland but it’s heaviness is suffocating. I read an article recently about embracing the winter months as a time to create a comfortable cocoon and hibernate, but we’re not bugs and bears for Pete’s sake. We’re people!

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Poor Mike is snow blowing for the second time this morning.

I feel stuck without anything really new to say. I’m quite frankly sick of myself and sick of social media…trying to paint the best picture, be positive, make myself look better than I really am, trying to get people to like me. Blah, blah, blah!

Honestly life still feels full of a crap-ton of lemons:

  • Work hasn’t picked up. No matter how many pep talks I give or receive, I doubt my decision to return to hair.
  • The second job I hoped for, was meant for someone else.
  • We still don’t have health insurance. (The affordable care act isn’t really affordable unless you don’t want to afford anything else.) Consequently, I worry about every ache, pain, and sniffle Mike gets.
  • I’m bored, lonely, and adrift.

Wait! … Here’s some Late Breaking News!

Literally, in the midst of this rant, my always encouraging, positive friend Barb has messaged me out of the blue asking when my next post was coming. Thank you, thank you Barb! Your message is just the refreshment I need in this exact moment. Thank you God for the gentle cuff across the head.

Here’s the reality. Despite focusing on the lemons (and the avalanche of snow-fall), I been drinking some pretty sweet lemonade. In the last several weeks:

  • I’ve seen new places
    • I recently visited two restaurants I’ve always wanted to try. Both have been in business for over 40 years. One was a hit and one was a miss, but I was so excited and glad to have experienced both.
  • I’ve made new friends
    • I spent five days in Arizona with my BFF and her parents. I didn’t know her parents well before this trip and now feel like I have two new friends.
    • Through the salon, I’ve connected with some of Mike’s friends and co-workers. I’m not just thankful for their business, but the opportunity to better get to know the wonderful people Mike works and hangs out with.
  • I’ve developed new hobbies
    • My at-home yoga practice is flourishing. I’ve completed Yoga with Adriene’s 30 day challenge, am working through her February calendar, and have been trying new vinyasas from the Yoga Journal.
    • I joined a corn-hole / bag toss league with Mike. It’s given us the opportunity to spend time together, a reason to get out of the house, and encourages this introvert to socialize with Mike and his friends.
  • I’ve completed some stuff 
    • Two books
    • A baby quilt top
    • A set of cloth napkins
  • I’ve started a new tradition
    • I’ve just sent out a stack of Valentines (the old-fashioned way) to my whole family. Going forward instead of bludgeoning everyone with a little more joy at Christmas, I’ll spread the love while the winter blues are at their peak.

So I’m canceling the pity party and apologize for wallowing. It’s crazy how easy it is to forget all the good when faced with a little bad. I have a warm house, plenty of food, a loving family, good friends, and a God who loves and has always cared for me.

If you’re drowning in lemons, I pray that there is peace and comfort waiting for you right around the corner. Remember God is good, he is faithful, and you are loved.

If life is currently treating you well, please share the goodness. We all need the reminder that snow melts, spring comes, and lemons can always be made into lemonade.

Happy Valentines Day!

 

Out With the Old, In With the New!

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I can’t believe it’s been a whole year already since I posted “Uncovering My Why!” Mom was right. The older you get, the faster time goes.

Oh my! So much has happened since that post and I’m currently in deep on this journey of diligently reshaping my life around this worthy goal.

I confess, reigning in my worry hasn’t gotten any better since my last post. Being a sole proprietor and renting a salon chair aren’t rocket science. But Man! Do patience and perseverance ever get any easier? My mean Old Adam  has been relentlessly whispering in my ear:

  • “You should be working harder to bring in new clients.”
  • “You were so not ready to set up shop on your own.”
  • “If you’d never have left hair in the first place, you’d have tons of clients, real experience, and a paycheck.”
  • “You’re never going to make any money at this.”
  • “If anything happens to Mike, you’re screwed!”

I know these things aren’t true, but the sly fox continually fills me with shame, guilt, and insecurity making my joy fleeting and contentment down right elusive.

Thank you God for my dear husband Mike. Mike officially stepped into his second half-century on New Year’s day and wisely reminded me that we officially have more days behind us than we do in front. “Do you really want to spend them worrying?” He asked. “Just make the most of what you have right now.”

Mike’s old hat at being self-employed. We’ve ridden his work’s waves of feast and famine for most of our married life. But here’s the thing, even when Mike’s not “working,” he’s busy. He always has remodeling projects, home improvements, golf, or any number of activities he’s tackled over the years. He spends his down time learning new things, honing new skills, and always striving to do these things to the best of his abilities.

My goal for 2019 is to follow his lead.

I’ve always wanted to:

  1. Become a daily at-home yoga practitioner so I can stay healthy and strong for as many days as God still has left for me.
  2. Sew more. I love fabric and creating beautiful and useful things. It doesn’t matter if I don’t need them, there are always others who do.

I also want to:

  • Go visiting more. I am blessed to be within driving distance to my whole family. I simply have to get in the car and go.
  • Stop at that little place, drive down that one road, or check out that one spot, I never have before.

I know the only one who can grow my business is me, but Old Adam’s lies aren’t productive or helpful.  Instead out with the old lies and in with the new growth. It’s time to get busy growing in new ways, making the most of open opportunities, and being open to new possibilities.

What will you do with 2019? Whatever it is, I pray it’s a blessed adventure.

Happy New Year!

 

Last But Never Least

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My days since leaving work have been packed. How did I get everything done while working eight or more hours a day? I just didn’t, that’s how.

“So Jen, what have you been filling your time with?”  you ask.

Well, in addition to lots of business research, I’ve been working on several long neglected projects around the nest. Mostly though, giving my time and attention to those I love the most–specifically helping my daughter Julia and her husband Danny pack up and get ready for their move to the Windy City.

I have written quite a bit about my Vegans (a.k.a my son Jake and his family), and I have written about Olivia (my comedian). Julia has reminded me; however, that I have another child that I have yet to write about and she will not be left out.

Julia is my “baby girl,” And, while she may have been born last, she has never been least.

Even as a tiny girl, Julia was highly self-assured, intelligent, and unabashedly strong in her convictions–always oozing the most pronounced combination of both her parents strongest personality traits.

Like her dad, she has never pretended to like something or someone she doesn’t and is naturally good at just about everything she does. Like me, she has a preference for home, family, a few close friends, and sticking close to the nest–cooking, shopping, or swapping family gossip with me and her aunts– rather than going out or partying.

Since graduating from college, Julia has been diligently creating her own nest in Madison with Danny. This was perfect when I was spending two days a week there. We would see each other almost weekly, could easily grab a quick dinner, or hang out for a few hours after work to catch up.

Now the big city is calling her and Danny another two hours away, and I no longer have reason to work in Madison each week. So last week, we packed up the newlywed’s nest and put it in storage to wait for their new apartment to be ready.

How fun for a young couple to experiencing life in the city? What an exciting new adventure! Yet, I confess it makes my heart ache.

Julia has always been my faithful companion; eagerly tagging along on every shopping whim, sharing all types of culinary experiments, or simply watching chic flicks while painting our toenails.

I now have a little over a week to have her home all to myself.

Well…

I do have to share her with Danny and her Dad.

OK…

and, she has to work too. (I’m finding it really hard not to interrupt her office hours just to check in and see what she’s up to.)

Still, I’m glad to have even a little time with her.

Julia is amazingly responsible and resourceful. I have no doubt about her and Danny’s success on this next adventure.

As for me, I’ll take on the big city just so I can spend time with my baby girl.

 

 

 

What Ifs….?

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Since my last post, I’ve been pouring over business ideas and the logistics around getting started. By last Thursday, I was wracked with anxiety and fear. Am I just a crazy person, what if this doesn’t work, what if Grumpa or I have an accident and can’t pay our bills, what if, what if, what if?

Then I had a conversation with my Baby Girl. (BTW–Baby Girl is a 24 year-old grown woman with a husband and career.) After listening to all my what ifs, this wise little old soul says to me, “Mom…”

  • “What if you were 19 years old and pregnant by a boy you barely knew?”
  • “What if that boy moved you and your kids four hours away from your family and friends?”
  • “What if you set aside your own dreams for the last 20+ years to make sure your kids had theirs?”

“Mom, you were pretty successful with all these what ifs, I think you’ll be successful with anything!”

My Funny Girl has been checking in with me every day filling me with ideas and inspiration. And, my Vegans are ready to listen and offer practical advise.

I also went back and re-read all your encouraging comments on Facebook. I am simply overwhelmed by everyone’s prayers, love, support, and confidence in me.

I can’t even express how much this all means to me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

All these shots of encouragement have renewed my confidence and I’ve become a woman possessed. I put on my walkin’ shoes and started pounding the pavement visiting area small businesses and picking the brains of some local entrepreneurs.

Now, I’m actually mapping out a real business plan and scheduling meetings to see if we can really make this thing happen. Once again, I’m doing things I never thought I’d do.

With all my heart I want to follow God’s plan for my life while living in my “Element.” Does this mean I’m trying to have my cake and eat it too?  Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know where any of this will lead, but I can’t seem to stop taking steps toward the possibilities.

The next couple of weeks will be research filled, as well as helping Baby Girl and her Hubby move to start their next adventure (that’s a story for next time).

Thank you all again for listening and encouraging me on this journey. I promise every post won’t be about business, but I will continue to keep you posted.

On a side note:

If you are currently on the roller coaster of parenting and wondering if you’ll ever be able to get off its drops, twists, and turns, I promise you will. Your feet will hit solid ground when your kids return the love, advice, and encouragement you’ve given them. I can finally say that I’m off the parenting roller coaster and am blessed to have my personal cheerleaders to coax me in to the next one.

Have a blessed week!

Planning My New Adventure

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I had a meeting at Job Service last week. I wasn’t sure what to expect, only that I was going to talk to an employment counselor about my resume and get some advise about searching for jobs.

Of course I always talk too much and the conversation came around to my dream of having my own business. The counselor asked, “What do you want your business to be?” as if this dream could actually be a reality and not just a far-fetched fantasy.

To digress just a bit, I have been wanting to have my own business for a long time, but haven’t really let the idea fully bear fruit. In the last couple of years; however, I’ve actually been articulating the dream out loud–and to more than just Grumpa and my family. In most cases, it’s been met with incredulity, “What would you want to do that for?” or “You know, that’s gonna be a lot of work!” or “You know, most small businesses fail.”

On rare occasions, I’ve had responses like the one from the job counselor. Someone who legitimately acts like this isn’t a hair-brained notion, but a real, viable option.

At these times, a new bud forms and the dream grows. “Really?” I think. “Could I actually do this? What would it take?”

It’s time to feed the dream and see how it will grow. So I’ve started with my trusty notebook and a cup of coffee. My next steps are to:

  1. Brainstorm ideas (I have a few already that I need to map out.)
  2. Check out the Small Business Development Center at the UW.
  3. Map out my network. Not just on LinkedIn, but everyone I know and who they know.
  4. Get to know other local business owners.
  5. Research and document plans for my most viable options.

I’m not looking to get rich, but need to stay solvent. My goal is to create useful, meaningful, and beautiful things or experiences for others, but I live in a small market. I have to manage expectations with reality, practicality, and restraint.

My dream business may have to start as a side gig–the important thing is to move consistently in the right direction. In the meantime, I’ll continue submit resumes, write, and focus on the things I love.

I’ll keep you all posted.

Jumping Off the Cliff

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I quit my job.

After fifteen years with the same company, I threw caution to the wind (along with my comprehensive health, dental, and vision package, 401-k match, eight+ paid holidays, and five weeks of paid vacation) and took the plunge into a world of insecurity and uncertainty.

What the heck was I thinking?

Over the last fifteen years, I’ve worked in various roles and positions–some I’ve chosen and some have been chosen for me. To toot my own horn, “this girl’s got some serious transferable skills.” Throughout this incredible journey, I’ve learned a lot about myself.

  • I can do more than I ever thought I could do.
  • Just because I can do something well, doesn’t mean I like it or it’s fulfilling.
  • I’d rather have respect and autonomy, than status and money.

I went to work as a means to an end, all the while dreaming of what I wanted to be when I grew up. My job helped help raise and support our kids, but it was always about what the company provided me and my family, not what I brought to the work. So despite all the perks, learning from and working with amazingly intelligent people, and having wonderful colleagues, I was perpetually stressed and unhappy.

Talk about a first world problem. I feel like I’ve literally just spit in the face of a tremendous blessing, yet at the same time I have an overwhelming sense that God is telling me it’s time to let go and let Him.

Here’s the thing, for years I’ve tried to direct God’s plan for my life. It’s been all about what I want, not necessarily what He wants. I truly believe this is why I’ve never been  happy despite an abundance of blessings. Throughout this 15-year journey, God has shown me what I’m good at, what brings me joy, and what I want to do now that I’ve actually grown up.

I want…

  • To create useful, meaningful things for others to use and enjoy.
  • To bring beauty and hope to peoples’ lives so they can be their best selves.
  • To build and foster relationships.
  • To continue learning, growing, and sharing life with others.

Do these things come with a good salary, paid vacations, and a great insurance package? Probably not, I may have to get a job for those things. Do I need a degree to do any of these? Maybe, but not really.

In all seriousness though, I won’t be looking for a company to provide for me going forward, but will look for a place where I’m confident in what I am bringing to the work.

I’m still scared because the cliff is already behind me, but I know I’m in the best hands possible. God is good. He (not me) is the one who will set my feet firmly back on the ground.

God bless!

My Daughter, The Comedian

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No I’m not being facetious or sarcastic. My daughter is a comedian.

Of my three children, my number two has never exhibited the classic traits of middle child syndrome.

Ridiculously confident, outgoing, and gregarious from birth, Olivia’s quick wit, and knack for remembering lines from every movie she’s ever watched, led her directly into theater. When cast as the Little Gingerbread Boy in her Kindergarten Graduation skit, Olivia promptly exclaimed to her teacher, “That means I’m the star right?”

She’s always had a flare for the dramatic, but really preferred to make people laugh.

Olivia is a trained actress. Since graduating from college though, she spends her days as an administrative assistant and her evenings learning the ropes and making her way in Milwaukee’s improv community.

Working full time, attending improv classes, and performing most weekends, we don’t get to see enough of Liv or her performances. Milwaukee is three hours away after all. It might as well be three days.

For the first time in many months; however, Grumpa and I were finally able to take in a show.

Olivia is the first to admit she’s still learning. After any show I’ve seen, she’ll preface her usual request for feedback with, “I know you’re not an improv fan, but what did you think?”

I don’t know how she does it, but she always seems to have her eye on me.

True confessions:

  • She’s right, I don’t like improv. I don’t understand it’s nuances and it’s special brand of randomness.
  • For this reason, I’m rarely (if ever) as demonstrative as others watching the show.
  • I really don’t care that much about the rest of the show. I just want to see Olivia.

So when presented with this question, how can I respond and not come across as a totally obnoxious, biased stage mom?

Ultimately this is what I think….

Expressive, quick, and responsive, Olivia never ceases to amaze me. I wait anxiously at the edge of my seat for my girl to tap in and am immediately lost in delightful revelry because she’s funny, she’s really funny!

If you’re in the Milwaukee area, take in a show at ComedySportz or grab a beer at Urban Harvest when they host Mojo Dojo. You’re bound to see my daughter, the comedian, lighting up the stage.

 

 

 

 

Girls About Town

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Each week I spend a few days working in Madison. While there, I room with my BFF Denise in a little condo downtown. Two small-town girls living the hip, career girl, city life–something neither of us experienced before, being young wives and mothers.

Now before you envision a Sex and the City Carrie Bradshaw type of experience, we are both a little bit older and wiser than the young worldly women on the show. Life at the “Girls’ Pad” (a.k.a the GP) is a bit more subdued and conservative; however, it’s still pretty awesome.

First of all, it’s all girls. Just Denise and I and her two kitties (both girls of course). No guys to leave the toilet seat up, share the remote control with, or to give “advice.”

We can watch chick flicks, discuss romance novels, and gossip about work without reprimand. We don’t have to look pretty or shave our legs. And we can have wine, cheese, and olives for dinner whenever we want!

Second, it’s downtown. We can literally walk to the capital square, the Overture Center, down State St., and any number of restaurants depending on our taste and mood.

Ranked by National Geographic Travel as one of the best small cities in the US, Madison is a little bit urban and a little bit small town.

The neighborhood around the GP bustles with the vitality of youth and college life yet is still rife with cultural influences due to its proximity to the capital square and Overture Center. Even if you’re not a sports fan, it’s impossible to not get caught up in the thrill of a Badger game whether the throngs of fans are making their way to Camp Randall or the Kohl Center.

Jump in the car and within 30 minutes you can get from one side of the city to the other for shopping or a great meal. Then of course, there are lakes Mendota and Monona, the UW Arboretum, Olbrich Gardends, bike trails, walking trails…SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME….!

I’m especially anxious to explore the square and visit Fromagination, a lovely artisan cheese shop I’ve yet had the opportunity to visit. I’m dying to go in and check out what cheeses they may have to enhance a rapturously girly dinner. Or revisit Cento, an elegant Italian Restorante with friendly staff, yummy food, and delicious wine.

A couple of days a week isn’t nearly enough to do all the things we want to do. I guess we just have to tackle one adventure at a time. These girls about town aren’t about to waste a moment.